Free Women's Self Defense Class - GO!!
First task of 2009 and it’s a physical one – exactly what I need right now. The United Studios of Self Defense in Escondido are offering a free self-defense class for women. The big problem I have with these things is that although they are offering it free, and it’s more than just the half hour introduction today, it’s two weeks, I will have at the back of my mind that they are trying to get me to sign up to more classes.
The introduction session is in a small building in a strip mall and the teacher – Colin – goes through some basics with me – the stance, a kick and a couple of punches – and the stuff I did 10 years ago comes back. I did Kung Fu during my doctorate and loved it, but then my knees gave way and I had to stop. Stupid not being fully evolved to walk upright human knees. Still, if them hurting helps prove evolution is right because we’ve got so much dumb little stuff like this wrong with our bodies the idea that we were designed intelligently is just idiotic, then I am willing to bear the pain for the love of science and the ridiculing of out-of-world beliefs.
Back at the gym I went from weakly thumping a hand pad to being able to bash the hell out of it while yelling. “Give me a ‘YA!” on exhaling”, says Colin. I do and it feels phony at first, then I can feel how it extends the impact. “It’s all about breathing out on exertion so your body isn’t holding on to its energy”. One more and I start breathing out a “HUT!” Oh that’s what I used to do. This private lesson is 30 minutes and Colin says the Free classes are just part of the normal ones which are 4 times a week!!! That means I really should commit to it and at that moment I’m well up to doing so.
As I go to the first session there’s that “everyone’s looking at me” aspect of stepping into the class of around 20 people with a range of different colored belts. The class is a mix of exercises, like jumping jacks, and punchy, kicky, blocky things. I’m so, so tired from sleeping really badly the night before, but it does energize me and I swear I will take this back up and practice everyday. I know I won’t. I think how brilliant it will be to pitch it to the North County Times and I can interview Colin and some of the other women who’ve taken up his offer. I may do this. But is it boring mundane local newspaper stuff? But if it is then they’ll tell me and if it isn’t then it’s an assignment and I get paid, and then I have to do the work, and in the end, I really don’t want to do the work!! Good grief I’m lazy.
Of course at 6:00PM two days later I’m tired as shit and don’t want to drive to stupid Escondido to do stupid exercise. I have that feeling of doom that I have to do this again Saturday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Monday and then Wednesday for the next two weeks, and now I realize just how fucking lazy I really am. It’s a good thing I’m doing this to write a story for mycraigslistchronicles.com or I’d almost definitely give it up before the end.
I go to one more session then give it up.